Calculating = Safety?
Soooo if I'm being quite frank right now. I'm kind of sick because I've been coughing all weekend and I think I'm starting to have a fever and I guess the only thing I usually do when I'm sick is go on my phone and start thinking. I am a professional over thinker and I guess, deep thinker. I like to think really deep about things and today's topic of Doom Thinking in bed was stereotypes (genuinely true--not just for the blog !).
I think in my case, I use stereotypes just to eliminate extra mental energy in deciphering how to respond to someone. So basically, I use my past experiences as data to determine how they seem to be feelings at that moment or what their personality is going to be like, and things of that sort.
With that, I can certainly say I've had moments where I was surprised when someone acted in a different way than how I perceived them to be. But recently, I'm really starting to realize I've been putting people into real strict boxes and labeling them in my head--of course not from looks; more from their facial expressions and body language, but still.
And I used to get stressed when people did unexpected things because I hadn't calculated that in my head to decide how to react, but honestly now, I'm just realizing that is how people are, and I'm sure I do strange things that people don't assume about me too. So, I'm just trying to stay away from calculating and just being myself in front of people I'm not too comfortable with.
I know this is a different type of stereotype that Brent Staples talked about in his essay, "Just Walk on By" but I think they both operate in a similar way. And with that, I think it's just wiser and truthfully, better for everyone to sometimes stop calculating and just live life the way they flow.
this is such an interesting idea sei, I really like hearing your voice in your writing and I also feel this, trying to predict people's reactions to the point where I get lost in my own calculations. Good work on your blog! Its so introspective.
ReplyDeleteSeiii This is so relatable I also feel like I perceive people in my own classifications and the need to have control over other’s actions. It’s like a coping mechanism but gets really tiring overtime. I appreciate your honesty and voice on this and hope you get better soon <3
ReplyDeleteYou reflection is very mindful and honest of how you also use stereotypes as a mental short cut as well. It really empathizes the connection between everyone and how we all can also had similar feelings. When you mentioned that you where surprised that when someone acted differently from what you thought they would act, it reminded me of the phrase, don’t judge a book by it cover.
ReplyDelete